Charity Mugged in my Own Home
I just had a charity knocker on my door. I like it when I can get accents right and so did she when I told her she was from Hull within two sentences. It broke the ice and it was cold on the doorstep...
View ArticlePiss on you Starbucks!
The other night I was walking to catch a nightbus and I overheard a couple – she was getting cross with him saying: “you cant just piss in the street” – that made me realise that I also needed a little...
View ArticleKeep It In The Van – Bob Slayer Jockey Style
People often look at me and say “aren’t you too tall to be a jockey”. I know that they mean “too fat” but are just being polite. Mind you most peoples idea of a jockey are the little buggers who ride...
View ArticleIn Praise of the Unsung Heroes of Comedy
“Gary The Goat is innocent” Australian Comedian Jimbo Bazoobi and his best mate Gary The Goat are all over the world media today. Their fine of $440, imposed when Gary was caught by police eating grass...
View ArticleValentines Story
Many years ago I used to be an Estate Agent. Woe is me. One Saturday afternoon (Feb 13th) I was showing a girl around 4 properties. I was really trying to sell one of them to her, but with each one she...
View ArticleDoug Stanhope is Selling The Holy Grail
Well known atheist Doug Stanhope has launched a campaign to show the world that: “you don’t need to believe in a god to have human compassion, nor does all charity fall under the banner of religion.”...
View ArticleLetters to a friend in Prison
A friend of mine has gone to prison for being a naughty boy, he’s not a bad man. Well anyway I have been writing to him and here is the latest letter what I have sent: Hey ho… This weekend I have...
View Article5 Stages of Drinking: We’re Driving to Florida!
Last night I had a quiet night in my local pub, The Palm Tree, with David Quirk Then at 11pm the suggestion was made that we should go into Soho for a couple more cheekies… Just a couple. I thought to...
View ArticleWhere is my Prostate?
A couple of years ago when I was doing “wild and crazy” Bob Slayer shows at Edinburgh Fringe I spotted a fresh young face smiling up at me from the audience… I found out that her name was Amanda and in...
View ArticleDo Tramps Make Good Pets?
I did a gig in north London tonight called Bear Funny… Last time I did this gig they gave me unlimited beer. They made me sign a waiver first, which said I would replace anything I broke. This time...
View ArticleLegal threats from Calpol – it’s just Teething problems!
Oh dear I seem to have attracted a spot of bother… Again! And I’ve been sent a letter telling me to stop. FULL LETTER HERE (or carry on down to read the excerpts) Of course by calling my book “Calpol...
View Article2013 – The Year of the Independent Comedian (and Comedienne of course)
I just received a press release that was titled “2013 – The Year of the Comedienne?” and opened with the paragraph “Is this is the year of the comedienne? As class female acts continue to rise to the...
View ArticleJapan Is A Country Where I Am (Part 1)
Day 1 – We arrive in Kumamoto after 24 hours traveling. We took a flight from London to Tokyo then several Shinkansen (bullet trains), some of them were even the right ones… This is the reason why we...
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